Speculative Monarchical Control

Summer, the Beach, Politics, Comedy, Bourbon, Nice Clothes, The Fighting Gamecocks, languages, traveling, and other Gentlemanly things.

Ultimate first world problem:

You’re eating a nice dinner, but you have to poop real bad. Do I finish this delish food, thus further worsening the problem, or do I take a break from eating in order to crap and subsequently touch my butthole, then come back to eating, which is gross?

First. World. Problems.